I was very honest to a person last night. I said something very true and honest about myself and she asked me why I told her. I simply told her because it was true. She didnt believe me. I am nice guy most of the time but there is a reason I say "i'm a horrible person." And if people would believe me, it would save alot of grief to me and them.
Honesty is supposed to be the best policy. Which I partly believe, lying is hard, creating then remembering it takes alot of work so why not just say the truth. I can hear you all saying "oh but this just isn't something you tell another person" "it's private" "I'm ashamed" "they don't need to know that" or "I'm embarassed." My question is why hide it? Obivously something in our brains tell us that this is a good idea, or at the least not a terrible idea.
I truly don't know where this is going if you did, fill me in. But I'm gonna stop now.
I just reread the post I don't know if it makes any sense at all. OH well. Yeah to non-censorship
Kick Ass and Chew Bubble Gum
5 comments:
Not telling the truth isn't the same as lying.
I make it a point not to lie. I also make it a point to keep my business my own. It's not the same thing. Everyone does things they're ashamed of. Some of us more than others. In the end it doesn't matter what anyone thinks about it but you -- of course that doesn't mean the whole damn world needs an opinion about it either.
The best thing you can do is not be surprised about what people think. If you don't want people to know, then I suggest not telling anyone.
People will think smack if they know it for a fact or if its hearsay. So why not just show all your cards and let the people know everything. A NO SURPRISES EVER kinda of life. Its sounds really good me, and I've been starting to live like that and it seems to be working.
Part of being honest comes with it who you are, and how people usually react to what you say. Take myself for example.
Tommorow, I could come out to all my friends that I find little people porn, especially singing in the rain interacial cosplay, extremely erotic. (Just to say right now, I find it more funny than erotic). Since it's me, a lot of people would not be surprised, perhaps find it creepy, and treat me the exact same way as they always did. This is because I'm blunt, and act creepy as a joke. Now if Richard said it, people would laugh.
If Larry said it, they'd run. For the hills. Because somehow, he'd be telling the truth, and that'd play into their beliefs about what he does to get off.
The thing is, if you're going to be blunt, you can't be something else. If someone thinks your a big, violent person, and you admit to being violently angry at one time in your life, you enhance their point of view, and give them reason to their suspicions.
Also, if they feel strongly against some major thing you did, that skews you as well, even if you weren't being stereotyped prior. People remember very little of others. They remember little things like "they were cool". They also forget any little bad thing you've done. As for major things, they really remember those things, turning you from "That guy was cool" to "That guy likes little people". This is the pitfall of honesty. People remember the wrong things you do or are.
To sum up this wonderful little debate, people have an idea of who you are, and by either admiting to it, countering it, or adding something to it that never applied, you change it. Which people don't like. So if you quash it from the beggining, that's usually a good way to find out if they really like you.
A good example of this for me (since we're sharing) was when I made a sexual joke around a girl from first year. I thought it was funny, and she found it rude and enough to no longer talk to me. Did I lose anything? Not really. She wouldn't have been able to be my friend anyway, so I'm better off.
Honesty is a great way to live your life; lies just make more prolems then they are worth.
The only problem with honesty is that it is only honesty from one point of view. We will scew things if we mean to or not. We see the world through the eyes that we were raised with, both by society and by our childhood. Issues are scewed based on our previous experiences and our beliefs. That does not mean that no one can tell the honest truth; it simply means that point of views need to be taken into account.
There is also a problem with people in general. Most people are content to create opinions based on hearsay or rumor. Unfortunately most people dont take the time to see things from the view points of other people. Questions often need to be asked and it is best if you get the answers from the horse's mouth. If people were more open-minded, less "my way is the only way" and cared more about the people around them, we would have far less miscommunication and discrimination.
The other thing that a lot of people seem to miss in these kinds of discussions is that "Always tell the truth" doesn't mean "Go out of your way to volunteer every single piece of flotsam floating around your brain to everyone all the time"
In a class discussing Kant, wherein "Always tell the truth" is supposed to be categorically imperative to do "all the time" the amusing example given by my teacher in response to "Does that mean if a woman asked 'does this dress make me look fat' and it did, you'd say yes?"
To which he responded, "Yes I would, but that doesn't mean I -also- have to say "And you're ugly too"
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