Words from a Busy Mind

This is an excerpt for a letter I am writing I thought I should share.

I never have fun, I rarely love what I’m doing, I never see the beauty that’s right in front of me because I’m always looking ahead past to what is next. Missing out on what is important what’s happening right now and how it makes me feel. I am in South Korea, a country indescribably beautiful and all I can think about is going home. But when I was at home I could only think about getting away and getting to South Korea. Now that I’m here I can’t remember why I needed to come here. I’m sitting alone in a smelly apartment, on a smelly side street, in a smelly city, just typing on my computer. Why am I not exploring this huge city or the vast country, because I’m chatting on MSN to my friends back home. I want to know what I am missing so I can look forward to going back but I’m sure as soon as I do. I’ll start thinking about leaving again. I know foresight is good but I feel like I’m fore staring, looking so hard that can’t see anything else. I want to break the cycle but I don’t really know how.

Combae!