Story One: Hello, Mr. Johnson

This my first story from Korea and its weird. I work with this Korean guy named Brandon, its Korean tradition to invite someone out and pay for everything when you do. So when Brandon invites Loren and I out for beers we gladly accept. (neither of us have never been one to turn free booze) He comes by and picks us up, we go to a local bar and his married friend, Trish is waiting for us. We drink and rabble rouse for about an hour when things start getting weird. Brandon starts holding our hands and attempting to feed us the snacks that are on the table. Which creeps us out so we start directing the conversation onto Trish, with a bit of flirting involved (it is me after all). Brandon starts going off about how he wanted Trish but would never get her. Since he was ugly, she was married and a bunch of other reasons that I didn't really understand. But as we all know never flirt with a girl a buddy wants because it leads to bad times all around and this time is no different. Brandon thinks we are moving in on his married crush and gets angry. Or so we thought. What he was angry about was that we were paying attention to Trish and not him. So it gets weird we decide to leave not after sharing a birthday beer with a random korean guy at the bar and singing Korean "Happy Birthday". We head outside and we hug each other goodbye. Then he reaches for Mister Johnson, I freak but try to stay calm. I leave. The rest of the story is what Loren told me. When the nut grabbing incident is happening, he is getting the "help me" face from Trish. He has no clue what to do but while he's thinking he sees a face moving in real CLOSE. He dodges and makes it look like he's waving goodbye to me and SMACK! Brandon lands a kiss right on his cheek but if he didn't dodge, OH MAN! Then the calls started, this was Friday and he's called Loren about 5 times when we said we we're going to Seoul (about 3 hours drive away.)
KOMBAE!